They Know What We’re Up to: Paranormal Evidence about Our Deceased Loved Ones

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From Electronic Voice Phenomena to near-death experiences, out-of-body experiences, and the work of reputable mediums, the paranormal evidence shows that our deceased loved ones do not “go off” somewhere far away and become disconnected from us. Nor do they cease to exist and enter some kind of eternal emptiness. Rather, they stick pretty close to us – and they know what we’re up to. They do not miss out on important family events, they do know about new spouses and babies, and they are aware of our joys and challenges.

Electronic Voice Phenomena

Electronic Voice Phenomena (EVP), a term first coined in the context of the work of Latvian psychologist and philosopher Konstantin Raudive and Friedrich Jürgenson, a Swedish film producer, has become widely used throughout the world. (Abrahamsen, 77-83) Here let us look at a few examples of voices coming through electronic recordings showing that the deceased know what’s happening in the physical sphere.

“J.L. sat down at her recorder with a red hat on, something that she had never done before. She later found this message on her recording “This is Alvin. I love you. I love your hat.” Alvin was the boyfriend she had as a young girl. He had died four years before.” (Butler and Butler, 105, italics in original)

“Olga recorded a clear voice that said, “Olga you are protected. I will love you. We will see each other again.” During a later recording, she commented that it must be difficult for people who die because they are still able to perceive their loved ones, but are not perceived in return. A loud voice came from her radio and said, “That is true!” (Butler and Butler, 108, italics in original)

Near-Death Experiences (NDE)

In Proof of Heaven, author Eben Alexander shares a story about Susanna, her deceased husband George (one of Dr. Alexander’s patients), and their seriously ill daughter, Christina. Before Dr. Alexander’s NDE, as he admits during this tale, he did not know how to respond to Susanna; after his NDE, he understood that she had been trying to comfort him in the face of the possible death of her daughter.

“Dr. A,” Susanna said, “my daughter had the most incredible dream. Her father came to her in it. He told her everything was going to be all right, that she didn’t need to worry about dying…” I told her it sounded like a wonderful dream. “But the most incredible thing, Dr. A, is what he was wearing. A yellow shirt – and a fedora!” “Well, Susanna,” I said good-naturedly, “I guess there are no dress codes in Heaven.” “No,” Susanna said. “That’s not it. Early on in our relationship, when we were first dating, I gave George a yellow shirt. He liked to wear it with a fedora that I also gave him. But the shirt and hat were lost when our luggage failed to arrive on our honeymoon. He already knew by that time how much I loved him in that shirt and hat, but we never replaced them.”

“I’m sure Christina had heard lots of wonderful stories about that shirt and hat, Susanna,” I said. “And about your early times together…” “No,” she laughed. “That’s what’s so wonderful. That was our little secret. We knew how ridiculous it would sound to someone else. We never talked about that shirt and fedora after they were lost. Christina never heard one peep from us about them. Christina was so afraid of dying, and now she knows she has nothing to fear, nothing at all.” (Alexander, 137-38)

Similarly, in Evidence of the Afterlife, Dr. Jeffrey Long and his associates ran the Near Death Experience Research Foundation (NDERF) survey of more than 1,300 people who had had an NDE. Long reports this story (Long and Perry, 7):

“One NDEr observed in the out-of-body state the reaction of the doctor to nearly losing this patient:

“Why were you so upset, screaming and swearing in the operating room? Didn’t you know that I could hear every word you said?

“You are right. I was so frustrated and tired and angry in that operating that I just started screaming when we were losing you. It was either scream or cry…”

Out-of-Body Experiences (OOBE)

When Virginia businessman Robert Monroe was first experiencing the strange vibrations that became his years of OOBEs, he related the following tale about being in a dimly lit room at night:

“It wasn’t a wall [that I was “seeing”], it was the ceiling. I was floating against the ceiling, bouncing gently with any movement I made. I rolled in the air, startled, and looked down. There, in the dim light below me, was the bed. There were two figures lying in the bed. To the right was my wife. Beside her was someone else. Both seemed asleep. . . I was the someone on the bed!” (Monroe, 28)


It is perhaps through legitimate mediums that one learns just how much our deceased loves ones know about what we are up to on this side. In their readings with clients, James Van Praagh, Theresa Caputo, Maureen Hancock, Chip Coffey, Tyler Henry and John Edward receive information from spirits who have crossed over and relay them back to their clients. Spirits often comment on trivial items that the medium would have no way of knowing – jewelry the client is wearing that is not visible to the medium, clothing that someone in the family put on that morning, new purchases the client has made, and so on. In certain instances, the spirit will know that someone in the physical world is pregnant and what the sex of the child will be, when that knowledge is known only to the couple. While skeptics and afterlife deniers will scoff at these revelations, the information is revealed to confirm that it is a spirit coming through, not a fact or revelation that could be obtained through the media, an internet search, or a conversation with someone else.

In the words of Massachusetts medium Maureen Hancock, “In my readings, spirits often tell me that they were present for their [funeral] services, and I hear specific details about what was put in the coffin, surprise visitors they never cared for, what was said in their eulogy, and who said it, along with many other detailed bits of information that prove to me they actually take pride in these services. I recently connected with a woman in spirit who told her daughter that the undertaker did a horrible job on her hair. She laughed and said she secretly tried to fix it when nobody was around.” (Hancock, 132)

Further, spirits “also come forward during times of celebration – a birthday, anniversary, special holidays, weddings, graduations, and so on.” (Hancock, 134) “We miss our loved ones in spirit, but they don’t miss us. They have a knowing beyond our comprehension that we will all be okay, and we will all be reunited with one another.” (Hancock, 136)

Final Words

From now on, when you hear someone say how awful it is that so-and-so who has died young or tragically cannot grow up, or get married, or see her child graduate from high school, or have children, think back to the evidence. Christianity and related Western beliefs have, sadly, taken away from us some of the most comforting knowledge around death and the afterlife – and we must confront and correct it.  Our loved ones may be gone from us physically – and that hurts to the depths of our souls – but they are fully aware of what is going on in our lives. They in fact share in those events: they are with the bride as she walks down the aisle; they are with us when our children are born; they rejoice in our victories; they know what’s in our living rooms! In short, they know that we love them – and they love us in return.


Abrahamsen, Valerie A. Paranormal: A New Testament Scholar Looks at the Afterlife. Self-published, 2015. Printed by Shires Press, Manchester Center, Vermont.

Alexander, Eben. Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife. New York: Simon and Schuster, Inc., 2012.

Butler, Tom and Lisa. There is No Death and There are No Dead. Reno, NV: AA-EVP Publishing, 2008.

Coffey, Chip. Growing Up Psychic: My Story of Not Just Surviving but Thriving – and How Others Like Me Can, Too. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2012.

Edward, John, with Natasha Stoynoff. After Life: Answers from the Other Side. New York: Princess Books, a Division of Get Psych’d, Inc., 2003.

Hancock, Maureen. The Medium Next Door: Adventures of a Real-Life Ghost Whisperer. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc., 2011.

Long, Jeffrey, with Paul Perry. Evidence of the Afterlife: The Science of Near-Death Experiences. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2010.

Monroe, Robert A. Journeys Out of the Body. Garden City, NY: Anchor Books, 1973.

Van Praagh, James. Talking to Heaven: A Medium’s Message of Life After Death. New York: Penguin Putnam Inc., 1999.